As an executive coach, I am tired.  I am tired of hearing the non-stop hammering rhetoric of Covid-19, masks, 6 feet apart, wash your hands, Trump, unemployment, lack of business and suffering.  I’m exhausted and demotivated to move forward especially with such ambiguity about everything.  And I do mean EVERYTHING!  There is a story that has crept into my head and it is filled with negativity and despair for myself and the world at large.

In late January, I was laid off from my job as an internal coach and talent development manager.  At the time I was not too upset as I had been contemplating going back to private practice full time.  While I was in my last role, I did keep my private practice going but at a very small scale.  Then I got laid off.  “The universe beat me to the punch,” I thought.  So, I began to gear up.  I believed all my network of over 1500 “connections” on LinkedIn would jump up and climb over themselves to hire and help me.  “Oh Eli, you’ve helped me get an amazing job,’ or “As my coach, you really helped me…how can I now help you?” or “Eli, you are an awesome trainer and have really impactful programs.  I know our company would love to bring you on.”  That was my dream scenario.  It is not my reality.

In February, I started marketing and networking my butt off.  I reached out to colleagues, wrote emails, updated my site and social medias.  I was motivated!  As someone who had a private practice/business since 2000 prior to going into a full-time role, I know the work it takes to grow a business.  I have run companies for others and even owned a successful marketing/design company before I became a coach.  It ain’t easy. To run a good business, people must keep sales funnel filled.  I know the work it takes to run a good business and to help people and companies grow.  Then March 2020 hit, and Covid-19 came and the world stopped.  And it has not started spinning again.

In the months that followed I kept up the momentum of reaching out to people.  There was no choice. “Nobody is going to manage your career better than you,” is what I tell my clients. I got busy. I picked up a few clients and was hired to do some great contract work to develop a 10-week course on Leadership and Team Dynamics. I also helped to redevelop a program on executive presence/virtual public presenting. It was a great challenge.  I did my first webinar for 100 people and it went great.  But then it became quiet and remains quiet.

I should say that in my last role, my days were full, and I was booked every hour and half hour.  I would get up early and get home at night and work with my private clients.  I like busy!  Quiet scares me.

As we come into month #6 of the pandemic, I started to notice something these last several weeks.  My motivation, for the first time in an extremely long time is like the airline business.  I am grounded and am having trouble taxiing to the runway.  I am at the gate and don’t know where I am flying.

I have reached out to old clients offering a few complimentary sessions, as now, more than ever, I believe people could use some kindness.  No response.  For my career coaching, I even developed a different pay model where clients do not have to pay a thing until they get hired.  Crickets.  I can’t even give it away!

Moreover, there is so much ambiguity. If we let people go back to normal, they will get sick.  It we keep people inside; the economy will never recover.  There is no good situation right now.

Some businesses are hearing the death knell and closing.  And yet, some businesses are growing exponentially during this time.  Other coaches I know have lost 50% of their business and I know we are all scrambling for the same coaching and training dollar. What is the right next step for a coach like me?

I belong to a group of 5 amazing coaches who get together every 2 weeks to chat on Zoom about life and business, especially through these times.  During a recent call I decided to get vulnerable (which is not easy for me) and to tell them I am “motivation challenged” and that my business has slowed down. A colleague mentioned, “Why not write about it and ‘be’ with it?” What’s it like to “be” with it? And that was all I needed to hear.

As coaches, we are taught to sit back, listen and ask powerful questions.  Here are the powerful questions I might ask a client if they were sitting across from me, as well as my answers.

What does demotivation and ambiguity feel like?

It feels sad and scary.  I talk to my clients about the word fear.  We discuss the acronym I use for FEAR –    False Evidence Appearing Real.  I would ask my clients are they living in truth or are they living in a story (false evidence).

For me it is a little bit of both.  Business is slow.  That is the truth.  The truth is also, I am not living in action and sitting in the quicksand of victimization, ambiguity and indecision.  If this was a career coaching client, I would champion the person to dust off the rejection and hop back on the horse.  It’s about choice.  As I have been told, often, staying a victim can be a choice. What story do I want to live in?

So, if that is demotivation and ambiguity…what does motivation feel like?

Motivation feels like energy.  It looks like the plane going down the runway and taking off.  It looks like direction.  The route might look different up in the air as everything is a little ambiguous right now, but at least I would be up in the air.  I get to choose a different story.  As I tell my clients, “What chair do you want to sit in?  You can choose the ‘I am not motivated story’ and feel stalled.  Or you can choose a different chair.  A different feeling. What chair do you want to sit in?”  I need to move to the better chair.

What do you need to do to be in the better chair?

For me, I know I feel better when I am in the “action” chair of “doing”.  I have decided to write again.  Ta da. I am going to talk about this as for me, I am sitting in isolation not discussing what is going on.  Talking to others and getting fresh perspective helps!

Have I been rejected these last few months?  More than I can tell you.  If you are reading this, I would imagine you may be going through some of the same feelings and experiences.  For me, I will create new blog posts.  I will try some new things as well. I will start taking online courses on Diversity, Equity and Inclusion which is an area I would like to expand in my professional development as I know I have lots to offer in this area.  I will start “checking in” with people to see how they are doing in these times and to see if I can help support them.

As my coach repeatedly tells me, “You can live in scarcity or abundance.  What is your mindset?”  I am going to choose abundance as throughout my entire career, the universe has provided for me with work.  It has been proven over and over again, that when I turn it over and trust and live in abundance, things typically work out.

Today, I choose to trust the universe as there are lessons I need to learn and lessons I need to remember.  I will choose a better chair.

What chair will you choose to sit in today?