I’ll take “What is Courageous Vulnerability for $1000, Alex!”

What is Courageous Vulnerability?

Think about a time in your life when you have been courageously vulnerable.  A time in your life when you “jumped out of the plane” not knowing what would happen.  Maybe it was applying for a specific job.  Maybe it was dating a special someone or marrying that person.  Maybe it was starting a project or a business.  How about being vulnerable to a tough conversation?  We have all been courageously vulnerable at some point in our lives.

To me, courageous vulnerability has three outcomes:  Yes, no and negotiation.

YES

When we take a leap, we never know what can happen.  Optimally, things will work out.  You got that magic job.  You started your own business.  You met that certain someone.  A tough conversation had an outcome where you could move forward in one direction or another.  In other words you dared, and it worked.

NO

Sometimes when we dare the answer can be no and that is OK.  We are powerless over people, places and things.  Maybe you got rejected.  Maybe you lost some money and maybe even in a big way.  FROM POWERLESSNESS COMES A NEW POWER.  What does that even mean?

When a NO happens, this allows us to be open to new options.  For example, I did not get that job, so I will apply elsewhere or I will stay in my current position.  He/She said no to a date with me.  I can try to meet people online, a social group or through friends.  My boss said no to me regarding this project…I can think of a different direction, I can just keep on or I can look for a new job.

NEGOTIATION

When we are Courageously Vulnerable, sometimes we need to negotiate as there could be contingencies.  For example, I started a business but it is shaping into a different direction.  Or I got this job but I will need to learn new things and maybe not get as much money as I wanted.  Or even, “I will marry you but you will have to take your socks off in bed.”

Courageous Vulnerability takes many forms.  From actions to conversations what could it look like to be Courageously Vulnerable knowing that you have these three outcomes.

For me, I have been Courageously Vulnerable many times in my life and I can tell you each of these outcomes have occurred for me.  A great example is when I recently put my media business up for sale.  A scary move since I was vulnerable when I courageously left a full time benefitted job and began this business 15 years ago and have made it into a relatively successful little business.  I courageously worked with a broker to work out the numbers.  (YES)  I was hoping my business would be worth a certain value (NEGOTIATION…Less than I thought, but still OK).  I was excited to find a potential buyer who I worked with for over a year but at the last minute all fell through. (NO).  I was powerless over the situation.  From Powerlessness Comes Power.  My new “powers” were/are, a) just close the business, even though it is doing well, b) keep the business and trudge along or c) begin the process over again, being vulnerable to what the future holds, learning what did and did not work in the process from the year and move forward.  In my own “negotiation” I am doing B and C and am open to what may happen.

Being Courageous is one thing.  Being Vulnerable is the tricky part as a sneaky sabotaging fear can enter the picture.  Fear or failure.  Fear of rejection. And sometimes, even fear of success.  (The answer is YES…now what?)  Standing in vulnerability can be uncomfortable, but isn’t standing in the position of complacency, without knowing, even worse?  If you ever get scared of Courageously Vulnerability, think back to a time when you took a leap and you received a big No.  What happened?  You probably (hopefully) moved on and made a different choice that worked for you either temporarily or permanently.  Now think about when it was a big Yes.  Think about the feeling of excitement and the energy in your body.  Think about how you proudly and strongly moved forward from that courageously vulnerable action.

Knowing a little bit more about Courageous Vulnerability, what do you need to let go of to take a jump out of the metaphoric plane?  The parachute WILL open.  Maybe you will land right where you want.  Maybe you will land a few feet away.  Or maybe you will land somewhere unexpected.  No matter what…you will land.